how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
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Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
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Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
dude. I can hear the air.
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