As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
