she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
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