i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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