Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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