$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
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