chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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