He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
