garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
