When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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