Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
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