Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
