While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
