i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
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