chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Randomize
