Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Randomize
