his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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