Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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