just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
id be glad to
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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