i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
