I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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