i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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