I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I understand Curling. That high.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I am available for nakedness
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
