So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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