Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
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