office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
