Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
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