Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
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You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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