I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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