Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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