its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I use my feet as sexual weapons
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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