omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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