That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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