ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize