this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
