It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Randomize
