No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Life without a bra equals bliss.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
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