Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize