she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
