last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
