my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize