eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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