My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
