Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize
