No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
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