i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
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I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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