I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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