I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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