why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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