Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
