You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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