he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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