i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize