Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Randomize
